


unpolished work 2

by our--beginning (p_3a)



Series: NaNoWriMo 2020 [2]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Sea of Souls - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p_3a/pseuds/our--beginning
Summary: Kanji stared into the darkness of Souji's bedroom. "Remember last year when we went back into the TV in March?"
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke & Tatsumi Kanji, Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji, Narukami Yu & Tatsumi Kanji, Persona 4 Protagonist & Tatsumi Kanji, Seta Souji & Tatsumi Kanji
Series: NaNoWriMo 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995847
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is the second in a series of unpolished and largely unedited short stories that have been languishing in my drafts for varying amounts of time. this one was started in mid 2020 then abandoned in my notebook. i'm posting the first two chapters; the third will follow shortly.
> 
> comments welcome*  
> *(though as usual please refrain from concrit; i have trusted betas to consult if i want it)

Yosuke grabbed his wrist.

He didn't know why he didn't expect it. It wasn't the first time. It wasn't even the second. Yosuke had pulled him from certain doom, danger, or even from being unable to rise from a particularly muddy section of the Samegawa while fishing, more times than Souji could count. And now he hefted Souji free from the multitude of hands and voices and _people_ that grasped at his legs, his waist, gripping his belt and his shoulder, pulling his hair - Yosuke ripped him away from all of them, decisively, like it was always a given. He hefted him onto solid ground.

"Hey aibou," he breathed. "You okay?"

All Souji could focus on was the hands rising up behind Yosuke.

It wasn't supposed to be like this…

Yosuke struggled, that was true. But it wasn't enough. Souji froze--he couldn't move, even to grab Yosuke's hand like he'd seized his, to grip Yosuke's soft shirt or to pull his face close. He heard himself shout, but all he could really do was watch. Those terrible hands wrapping around his aibou, pulling him out of reach, out of sight.

"Guess it's the end for me!" Even now, Yosuke tried to meet it with a smile.  
" _Yosuke!!_ "

No! No. No, it couldn't… Yosuke couldn't! Not again, not this again…! It wasn't supposed to be like this! If he could only call for Izanagi - if he could just…

Somehow Yosuke was still smiling. Souji could see it on his lips as his head was pressed down into the shadows. Why? Why was he smiling…? Why was this happening to them…?

Everyone was dying.

Really dying.

He could hear his name being called. Everyone was depending on him. He'd never… he'd never felt frozen in place like this before. He always knew what to do, moved without thinking, solved everyone's problems without even being asked. At least inside the TV world. Why now? Why was it different _now_? Why did he freeze when everyone needed him the most?

_You asked for this._

As the last traces of Chie and Yukiko vanished, he felt like all his drive to move, to act, to speak had vanished into the Sea of Souls with his friends.

 _You_ **_asked_ ** _for this._

So when Izanami offered him a way out of this… this meaningless future, this hell that lay before him… the deaths of seven of the world's funniest, kindest, cleverest, most selfless and sincere people… how was he to face their families? THe silence on his phone? His uncle? He'd be convicted. Adachi was behind bars right now; everyone would know these new deaths couldn't have been him. But Souji didn't even care about that--it was more… that if he could… if he had the choice, then…

 _You_ **_asked_ ** _for_ **_this_** _._

It wasn't like there was anyone left to judge him, was there?

He took a deep, shaky breath. It was full of fog.

For the first time, he allowed the stifling presence to embrace him like a blanket.


	2. Chapter 2

Souji had mentioned the Sea of Souls before, but for some reason Yosuke hadn't expected a _literal_ ocean.

At first it almost seemed soothing. The water was cool but not cold, and the light shafting from above was beautiful. But Yosuke had to remember he was in horrible danger here. If this really was the Sea of Souls his aibou had mentioned the Velvet people describing to him, then he couldn't stay here--and as soon as he thought that, he noticed the current. It was stronger and faster than he could ever hope to swim. And it was pulling him down.

Did Saki-senpai go through this when she died inside the TV..?

The question came from a place of curiosity. Morbid maybe, but whatever. The important thing was actually that it _pissed him off_.

Never mind unfair--if he died here, he wouldn't be at peace. Like hell! He'd resolved--to himself, to Naoki-kun, to Saki-senpai, and to his _aibou_ , the guy that made this all possible. The guy who brought her killer to justice. He'd resolved, for all of them, to live. Even if Saki-senpai couldn't any more, then… he'd just have to make sure he did enough for the both of them, to make up for the fact that he couldn't save her. It all added up to one fact.

He couldn't die yet.

_He couldn't die yet!_

Susano-o was at his back, he realised now. Was he always there, or did he appear just now..? His presence felt comforting, and for a moment Yosuke questioned whether that was a good thing. But Susano-o was buoying him. His warm, familiar embrace was helping stop Yosuke from sinking any further; helping stop the cold from encroaching any further on his limbs.

He instinctively knew he shouldn't turn to look at his Persona. Whatever lay below, whatever Susano-o was shielding him from, was something he would not be able to survive looking at. So he folded his hands over Susano-o's, squeezing gently.

"Thanks, buddy," he mumbled, though no sound came out. "You've always got my back."

Susano-o hugged him a little tighter.

"Ne… I'm still really sorry I pushed you away in the spring. I should've listened to you more… I guess it's not like it would have saved Senpai, but that's not really the point. It would've made things better anyway. For us."

Yosuke felt Susano-o's large hand pat the top of his head. He found himself laughing gently. "Just… hey, man. Thanks for forgiving me."

 _Here they come,_ Susano-o let Yosuke know calmly. _Prepare yourself._

"Who's _they.._?"

Susano-o didn't have time to answer. Visually, nothing changed for Yosuke. But he could hear… voices. Faint at first, but they grew louder faster than he could have expected, until it was as though Yosuke was in a crowded room. Then a crowded concert hall. Then louder, and busier; and louder and busier still. Thousands--no, millions of voices… none of them shouting, but all talking at once. Yosuke couldn't make out any individual words, or even pick out voices.

He tried to talk to Susano-o, but he found his words were completely swallowed up by the flood.

For a moment he felt dizzy and sick. He was dying. He somehow-- _Yosuke_ somehow knew this meant he was dying. If he lost himself here… he'd be gone.

But he had no doubt that Souji was doing something to save him. To save them all. Souji was always so selfless… was Souji here somewhere too? It wasn't like Yosuke would be able to pick out his voice if he was, probably. The sound was completely overwhelming. Barely describable. He was struggling to piece together thoughts now against the tide. But he had to… he had to hold on.

Yosuke Hanamura had to hold on.


	3. Chapter 3

"...senpai, can I ask you about something strange?"

"Huh?" Yosuke rolled over onto his front. "What's up, Kanji?"

"Remember…" Kanji paused, then sighed. "Uh, sorry. This is really weird…"  
Yosuke frowned. "No, go on, dude. What's up?"

Kanji stared out into the darkness of Souji's bedroom. They liked staying here when Souji was visiting; it gave them more time together. "Remember last year when we went back into the TV in March?"

Yosuke's stomach dropped. Yeah, he remembered.

"Uh… what's brought this up?"  
"I dunno. I was just thinking about it, y'know? Like… it's been bugging me all year. You don't just brush something like that off. ...Do you?" He seemed uncertain suddenly, his eyes catching the moonlit gleam filtering through the window as he turned them to Yosuke.

Yosuke probably looked like a deer in the headlights. He didn't really like thinking about… that. But Kanji clearly needed the reassurance… "…Yeah. It was pretty freaky. I still have nightmares, y'know…?"  
"Ah man, that makes me feel tonnes better. Sometimes it starts out as us just muckin' about in the river, then suddenly I'm drownin' down there again…"

Yosuke's were similar. He'd be talking to Souji, then for some reason Souji would be shouting… and all at once he'd be plunged back down.

"Ne, Kanji… did you see your Persona?"

"Yeah. He was there." Kanji smiled a little in the dark. "I woulda died if I hadn't had him. I'm sure of it."

Yosuke thinks about Saki again. All alone, sinking into those depths.

Kanji breaks the silence Yosuke left. "Hey, Souji-senpai. What about you?"

Souji doesn't respond, and at first Yosuke thinks he's fallen asleep. But to his surprise, he shifts, turning over to face away from them.

"I don't remember it," he says.

Yosuke immediately knows he's lying.

"Hey, c'mon," he protests. "Me and Kanji are out here baring our souls. I mean… if you're not comfortable, it's okay, but… y'know we're not gonna make fun of you or anything, right?"

The silence went on for an uncomfortable amount of time. Then Souji finally mumbled, "yeah, I know."

Yosuke looked at Kanji. Kanji looked at Yosuke. Something…

"Did Izanagi not show up or something?" Yosuke ventures. Even in the dark he sees Souji start. He's on the money in some way, then… "...or he did and you just had a big argument? Haha."

"Something like that." Souji forces a _heh_. It's the saddest sound Yosuke thinks he's ever heard, possibly.

Kanji takes over. "It's okay if something else happened, senpai. You don't have to save face in front of us."  
"Yeah," Yosuke backed up. "Whatever it was, if it's bothering you… you can tell us, okay?"

They both let the silence rest for a while. They know it's pressing down on Souji. He'll say something eventually.

Eventually… yeah…

Yosuke's about to ask if Souji fell asleep when he finally speaks. "I didn't go to the Sea of Souls," he blurts.

Yosuke blinks. "You didn't?"

Souji curls up on himself. Yosuke moves without thinking, leaning over Kanji's legs to rest his hand on Souji's shoulder; Souji tenses. "Hey, dude, it's okay. Whatever it was, we're not gonna… you can tell us, okay? We're your friends."

Souji always takes a while to decide what to say in situations like this, but that's okay. Yosuke can wait. He glances over at Kanji; Kanji simply pulls his legs up to his chest so Yosuke can shuffle up and sit next to Souji properly. Which he does. Of course he does.

Souji breathes out shakily. "...Izanami offered me a deal."  
"Huh?" Kanji blinks. "What kinda deal?"   
Souji swallowed. "If I accepted the fog then… you'd all be there."

Yosuke is still trying to think what to say when Kanji blurts, "But you didn't take it, right? Or we wouldn't be here now."

Souji didn't reply.

Yosuke had to say something before Kanji did. "Um… listen, aibou, you know it's okay, right? It's okay to be scared."  
"Is it, though?" Souji said, and there was a bitter note Yosuke had never heard before. He waited to see if Souji would say anything else, but he didn't.   
  
Yosuke breathed in, then out. "Okay. C'mere, dumbass."

He leant up and wrapped his arms around Souji's chest, then hefted him into a sitting position. Souji struggled free after a moment; he had a scowl on his face, like Yosuke was patronising him. But Yosuke'd rather patronise him than leave him to sulk on his own.

"Kay, now turn to face us," Yosuke insisted. He patted Souji's shoulder until he did it. Souji gave a little shake of his head to prompt his fringe down over his forehead, hiding most of his expression. Yosuke resisted the sudden urge to reach over and brush it away again.

"Listen," Yosuke said. "We're your _friends_ , alright? Your real friends. Even if you made a bad decision or did something you're not proud of… we'll be here for you."   
"You're clearly not happy on your own with it," Kanji added. "Dude. Whatever this is is cutting you up inside. If you think we can't see that then you're a dumbass."

Souji curled up on himself again, hugging his knees to his chest. He was still avoiding eye contact. But at least they could see his face now, and he couldn't pretend to be asleep.

"Izanami offered me a deal," he repeated. "...and… I couldn't see another way. You were all gone and I couldn't call my Persona. So… I took it."

"Wait, so are we all fog illusions right now?" Kanji blinked.  
"No, dumbass, I think we'd be a hell of a lot dumber if we were," Yosuke said, gently thumping Kanji's arm. "And that's saying something."

That got a little smile out of Souji. Yosuke's heart lightened a touch.

"...I don't know how long I stayed like that, but… one of the Velvet Room people came and got me. She, um, beat me up because I couldn't call Izanagi… but all of my other Persona started summoning themselves. Because of my social links."  
"Um… right," Kanji said. He looked like he had no idea what was going on.   
Yosuke didn't really understand much either, but he nodded anyway. "You couldn't call Izanagi? That's pretty serious, dude…"   
"Yeah." Souji folded his hand behind his head, ducking into an even smaller ball. "Yeah."

"So…" Kanji shifted so he was sat cross-legged. "Then what?"

"...Izanagi let me know why he was unhappy. And… I accepted it, so… I can summon him again now. Um… he helped me defeat Izanami. Then you all came back."  
"Wait, that's it?" Kanji leaned forward. "Dude, no way. I know you're all tough and cool and shit but there's no way you just-- like, said _yeah sure why not_ and then got on with it. Not to your Shadow."   
"I pretty much did," Souji said defensively. He met Kanji's eye, so Yosuke was happy he wasn't lying about that part, but… it definitely wasn't the full story.

He chose his words carefully. He knew if he fucked up now, Souji would never open up about this again. "...so what was Izanagi unhappy about?"

Souji chewed his lip. Yosuke let him think about it for a moment, then pressed. "If we know, then it's something we can help you out with if it ever bothers you again, aibou. You do that for me all the time."

The well-placed _aibou_ seemed to help. Souji's expression softened a touch and he breathed out. Yosuke could practically _sense_ Kanji wanting to say something dumb, but thankfully the guy held back.

"...I just didn't want to be alone again," Souji admitted. Almost a whisper.

Yosuke wanted to grab him up in the biggest, warmest, tightest hug.

"You dumbass," Kanji said. He was gentle; his hand rest softly on Souji's forearm. "We'll never let you be alone again. And we'd never judge you for bein' scared of that."  
"Yeah," Yosuke added. "Dude, that's a completely legit fear. You've barely ever talked about your home life and stuff, but… I mean… correct me if I'm wrong, but… if it was good then you would have more to say about it, y'know..?"

Souji just nodded. Yosuke didn't expect another revelation tonight; probing about Souji's situation at home could wait for another time, as long as the guy wasn't being beaten. He couldn't help glancing at Souji's bare arms for bruises. There weren't any, but, well. That didn't mean there weren't _any_.

Kanji suddenly clapped his hands together. "Right. Group hug time. I've decided. Group hugs are manly now. And we're gonna have one."  
Yosuke laughed softly, and he could see Souji was smiling. "Y'know," Yosuke says, "they don't have to be manly for us to have one."   
"Says you! Last year you were all _ooh that's for girls_ and _don't hug me goodbye that's girly_!"   
"Yeah because--" Yosuke stopped himself, then thumped Kanji's arm again. "Damnit, Kanji, that was last year! Get in here, you giant dumbass."

Souji was smiling properly now. That was all Yosuke ever wanted.

And the group hug, by the way, was _manly as hell_.

**Author's Note:**

> c/p from piece #1:  
> p.s. this is as well as horos, not instead. I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU LOYAL HOROS READERS i love you all deeply and abidingly and i am so nearly ready to pub the next chapter.


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